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As a child I was very timid. I was scared of a lot of things. Cemeteries. Drunk men. Strange old ladies, especially at winter when they wore dark clothes.
In my room there was an old closet I was afraid of. It stood besides the window and made a dark silouette against the wall on nights with moonlight and bright springnights. Right before I fell asleep the closet got eyes and started to hiss.

– It`s just a closet, the adults said. That`s nothing to be afraid of?
Then they opened the doors and knocked in the wood to show in what extent it was a closet. As if it proves anything.
– You are not afraid of a closet? they asked.
– No, I replied.

But that was not true at all.
Now I know, of course I knew just as well as them that it was just a closet. But so what?
Listen, there is a reason to be afraid of a closet that gets eyes and starts to hiss already before you have fallen asleep. It was impossible to know what it was doing while you was really sleeping! It is pure stupidity to not be afraid when you have a crazy closet moving around in the room.

When I now hear, in the dark, a man with a wooden leg, walking back and forth in the attic all night; I don`t go to the attic to check.
I crawl under my blanket and stay there til the morning light comes and removes the scary being.I have always done that.
But I also know that if I had gone up there, and seen with my own eyes that there was no man with a wooden leg jumping around there, gone down again to bed and then heard the man with the wooden leg. Then I had known it was an invisible man with a wooden leg.
Tell me; what is so much better with that?

Sirenia 2012

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